Rambling on: June 2012

It was a little past 5 in the morning when Alex and I arrived in Bangkok. The sun was just about to come up as we zoomed through the empty streets in the back of a tuk-tuk. This would be the first and last time we stepped foot in one. The first thing you learn in Thailand is how to haggle. The second thing you learn is that the price of a tuk-tuk, no matter how hard you haggle, doesn’t beat the price of a taximeter. And it isn’t even close. In theory, the tuk-tuk should be cheaper because you could haggle with them. But not once could we ever get them lower than $6 per person. The minute you start haggling, they say “no, no, impossible” – which basically means; I’m not going that low because the next naive tourist will pay this. In the three days we were in Bangkok, we never paid more than $4 total for a taxi. Sadly, this wouldn’t be the only time we were scammed out of a few extra dollars.

Neither of us had gotten any sleep on the bus, so we spent the entire morning playing catch up. When we were finally up, all we did was wander through Khao San Road and Chinatown. Khao San is the backpacker area that is filled with all sorts of knock off goods like t-shirts, bags and electronics. China town is much the same in that it’s just booth after booth of fake goods. However the stuff here is more aimed at locals. Anything from hardware, to clothes, to dvds and big-ticket electronics.

Bangkok is a virtual smorgasbord of fake garbage.

The next day we were motivated to explore the city. One of the things recommended to us was the floating markets. The city is laced with a series of canals all connecting to the major Chao Phraya River that runs through the city and there are several markets that line the canals. We made an attempt at taking the bus out there, but after waiting 20 minutes for the second of four interchanges, we bit the bullet and took a taxi. It only cost us $3. That was the last time we bothered with the public busses.

It was a small market, but there were several boats serving local Thai dishes. All of them were run by little old ladies; one of which welcomed us to Bangkok with a big ol’ smile. She told us to sit down and cooked us some salt & burn fish and grilled prawns. To this day, I have yet to try any fish as delicious as that.

Up next was the Temple of Dawn. Bangkok has many elaborately decorated Buddhist temples and this is one of the most important ones. Wat Arun (literal translation of “Temple of Dawn”) is decorated from top to bottom in ceramic works of art; everything from flowers to little Buddha statues. It quite detailed. After climbing two flights of very steep stairs, the top is wrapped in a five-foot tall cloth. Visitors from all over the world leave good tidings and well wishes in many languages. I also left my mark.

That night we did one of the most quintessential things one can do in Bangkok: A Ping-Pong show.

Now, for the sake of those readers that don’t want to know exactly what goes on at these things, I’m only going to skim the surface. If you really don’t want to know, you can skip the next two paragraphs if you like. For those of you who really want to know? Ask me when I get back. I’ll gladly go into as much detail as you’d like.

For those that don’t know, a Ping-Pong show is a type of burlesque show that, as far as I know, is only performed in Thailand. A stripper will use her vagina as a means of performance involving several different objects. As to not go into much detail, I will only include a list of the objects involved in the show I attended: Ping-pong balls, a paddle, darts, balloons, a horn, chopsticks, rings, a bottle, a whistle, and 30 feet of ribbon.

The show itself is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. And it’s not just men who enjoy this. There were numerous couples, young and old, having a good laugh at the ridiculousness of the show. Also, audience participation is highly encouraged. Take it from me – if you participate, you will laugh uncontrollably. Partly from how insane it is and party from being so uncomfortable.

But, all does not always end well. While many of the shows are up front about their costs, some are not. Most shows will be free but include a one-drink minimum – at $25 per bottle. Our place charged $5 per beer, then tacked on an extra $50 per person just for attending. These costs were obviously never mentioned up front. We argued for 15 minutes and got them down some in price but looking back, we should have known better. Oh well. You live and learn. After that fiasco, it was time to get drunk. We went back to Khao San Road and proceeded to drink away our losses. Just like a good gambler would do.

The next day did not turn into anything successful. We were both far too hungover to do anything until well into the afternoon, and by then, we were simply unmotivated. Our biggest achievement for the day came when we purchased our train tickets to Chiang Mai for the following evening. Then proceeded to forget to pick them up when ready.

If there ever was a FAIL day on my trip, that was it.

After that miserable failure, we were up and motivated the following day to actually do something productive. Being that it was our last day in Bangkok, we had to cross two of the remaining major tourist attractions off our list: The Grand Palace and Wat Pho (Temple of the Reclining Buddha). They are built right next door to each other and are similar in style; huge angular roofs with shimmering patterns of red, gold, and blue adorn the outside.

Wat Pho houses the largest Buddha in SE Asia. It’s 30 feet tall by 50 feet in length and the whole thing is covered in gold. The feet alone stand 10 feet tall and are covered in mother of pearl. This is one of the gems of Bangkok and is quite an impressive sight.

The Grand Palace is the home and political seat of the King of Thailand, and has been for over 200 years. Most of what you’re allowed to see, however, is only the temple section. Nearly three quarters of the palace is off limits to tourists. Having seen Wat Pho I felt like I was seeing the same thing all over again, except with more people. The only difference being this one had more stuff and more colors. One cool thing was the weapons museum. It contained weapons from the past few hundred years; all sorts of guns, swords, daggers and spears.

By now we were done. We’d accomplished that which we set out to do in Bangkok and were ready for another, even better, adventure in Chiang Mai.

Well, after an 18-hour train ride, that is.